Support when families need it most

How long their son would have to stay in neonatal intensive care was not something the McGowans could control.

But they did have a say in one thing, at least: Their ability to be close to him.

"We wanted someone there with John at all times," said Kevin McGowan.

The challenge, though—living an hour away, and with two other young sons to care for—was how to make that happen. Thankfully, McGowan said, a solution was close at hand.

"They eased so much of the stress for our family," he said of Ronald McDonald House, where they were able to stay just across the street from the hospital.

"You could go crash for a couple hours, shower, eat a meal and come back. It was one less thing you had to worry about with everything that was going on."

Today, 18 months since he spent 61 days in the NICU, John is thriving at home, where he runs and plays with his big brothers.

Thankful for the support that helped make John’s recovery possible, McGowan—an external mutual fund wholesaler at Cavanal Hill Investment Management, Inc., a subsidiary of BOK Financial Corporation—recently nominated Ronald McDonald House for BOK Financial's 2026 Guide the Giving campaign.

Because Guide the Giving nominations must be tied to a BOK Financial market, McGowan, who lives in Connecticut, nominated the Tulsa chapter. His fellow employees took it from there, voting for the charity to receive a donation of $10,000.

The gift builds on what was already a strong bond between BOK Financial employees and Ronald McDonald House, which provides housing and services to families with critically ill or injured children, allowing them to stay near the hospital.

From making meals for visiting families to serving on the board, company volunteers across various markets have a history of supporting the charity and its mission.

Before his family's experience, McGowan was aware of the organization only in a general way. He had seen the donation bins at McDonalds, he said, along with the requests to support it by rounding up purchases.

However, not once did it register that his family might someday need their services.

A diagnosis they never saw coming

McGowan still remembers the moment—and how the room went suddenly quiet.

“The technicians left and went to get the doctor,” McGowan said. “I knew something was going on.”

He and his wife, Lauren, had been expecting another routine ultrasound, just like with their first two sons. What they were about to learn, though, would leave them reeling.

Their son John, doctors told them, had a congenital diaphragmatic hernia (CDH). CDH is a rare condition where a hole in the diaphragm allows abdominal organs to move into the chest cavity, crowding the heart and lungs.

The diagnosis changed everything about the family’s plans. Instead of delivering at their nearby hospital, they were directed to Yale New Haven Children’s Hospital, which offered the highest level of neonatal intensive care.

That's where John was born in January 2025—and where, just four days later, he underwent surgery to save his life.

Following the procedure, in the NICU, he required breathing support and a chest tube after fluid built up near his heart. At one point, he went 13 days without eating and received nutrition through an IV.

“There were decisions being made every day on different procedures and different things they were doing,” McGowan said.

That was one reason, he added, he and Lauren decided at least one of them always needed to be there.

The other reason was just as important, however: Even though John could not be held, they could touch him, rub his head and let him know they were there.

Keeping the family together

Through all of this, the family relied on Ronald McDonald House.

The McGowans’ home was in Middlebury, about an hour from the hospital. Most days, one parent remained with John while the other cared for their two older sons, James and Logan.

Every few days, they switched.

“One of us would drive the boys to the hospital,” McGowan said. “I would run out, get in the car with them, and she would run into the hospital with her bag.”

Ronald McDonald House gave them a place to sleep, shower, change clothes and do laundry. It also gave their older sons a place to spend time with both parents.

Because John was hospitalized during flu season, the boys could not visit him in the NICU. At one point, the McGowans recorded them singing a song so they could play it for John.

“As hard as it was on us, it was probably harder on the two boys,” McGowan said.

Ronald McDonald House at least gave the family a place to stay connected, he said.

The impact of a meal

The support also came in practical, ordinary forms.

Fresh fruit and snacks were available for families returning from the hospital. Sometimes, after spending nearly all day in the NICU, McGowan would grab an apple and head back across the street.

Other times, a prepared dinner was waiting in the refrigerator. “You don’t know where it came from or who made it, but it’s there,” McGowan said. “It’s one less thing off your plate that you have to worry about.”

Sherri Calcut, president of BOK Financial Mortgage and a board member for Ronald McDonald House Tulsa, said volunteers understand the power of small acts.

She first became involved with the organization through cooking for families, and the experience gave her a better view of it.

“You see how important it is for families to have a safe place to decompress, be together and know that they have support while their child faces such a serious illness,” Calcut said.

In preparing meals for Ronald McDonald House in both Kansas City and Tulsa, Calcut's colleague Molly Buchanan has experienced it, too. Recently in Tulsa, her team toured the house, divided up the work and prepared a home-cooked dinner.

“After preparing the meal and setting everything up, we left knowing that families returning from long days at the hospital would have one less thing to worry about,” said Buchanan, director of consumer delivery experience for BOK Financial.

“A prepared meal can’t solve the challenges they’re facing,” she added, “but it can serve as a reminder that people they may never meet are thinking about them, rooting for them and wanting to make their day just a little bit easier.”

A community built around families

For the McGowans, the house was also a way to connect with other parents facing similar circumstances.

Families met over lunch and dinner, talked about how long their children had been hospitalized and watched their older children play together. There were moments of hope, but also reminders of how serious life could be in the NICU.

“We saw babies that didn’t make it,” McGowan said. “You see other parents who have been there for a really, really long time.”

The McGowans' stay would extend nearly two months, until doctors told them John had improved enough.

Before the family left Ronald McDonald House, staff gathered for a small farewell ceremony. They held a sign, took a family photo and celebrated the end of the McGowans’ stay.

“They made leaving feel special. Everybody was excited for you,” McGowan said.

‘A whole army wrapped around them’

Today, John continues to receive follow-up care from specialists.

So far, he's passed each checkup “with flying colors,” McGowan said. “If you saw him today, you could not tell the difference between him and our other two children. He is doing exactly what a normal child would do.”

McGowan said it's hard to put into words how indebted the family feels to John's doctors and care providers—and to Ronald McDonald House.

That makes the Guide the Giving award all the more meaningful.

John’s hospital bill totaled about $877,000. Insurance covered most of it, but the family still makes monthly payments. A personal gift of $10,000 was far beyond what the McGowans could provide themselves.

“A lump-sum check for $10,000 is going to help a lot of people,” McGowan said.

Calcut said the funds will provide the equivalent of two rooms for families for up to a year.

She's reminded of why that matters, she added, at every board meeting, where members hear the story of at least one of the families.

“Not all stories have happy endings,” Calcut said. “But one thing we do know is that the family has a whole army wrapped around them to help them get through this.”

McGowan, who has felt that "wraparound" firsthand, said it feels good knowing the gift will help other parents remain where they most want to be: close to their child.

“There’s no better cause than helping kids and their families stick together,” McGowan said.

Photo: Kevin and Lauren McGowan with their sons Logan, from left, James and John in a photo taken recently.